Himalaya 100 Mile Stage Race - Day 3 - Saying 'hello' to Delhi

Our first full day back in Indialand and I was beginning to feel at home amongst my furthest flungest fans. And what a start to the day it was - curry and chips for breakfast!! I had a couple of portions and then snaffled some toast and honey to make it look healthier and then got myself ready for a day saying Buenos Aires to my new and old friends in Asia.

Of course when I'm travelling abroad I take my responsibilities seriously. Its important that we don't make foreign people think they are more inferior than they already are so I always try to assume a kind of diplomatic stance. I always offer to sign autographs before I'm asked and I'll usually throw out some chocolates or crisps to the locals - as a kind of bridge building gift. It usually works well for me anyway.

I'd had a word with my friends - they don't like being called agents - in Indialand and they had arranged for me to do a tour of the city. I kind of viewed it as a pre-race victory parade and as I am a champion I decided that it would be appropriate to dress as a champion. It had to be the lime green Lycra!

Well there was obviously some kind of mix-up with the transport arrangements. You see I thought I was being paraded through the streets on an open top bus but when the thing arrived it had a bally roof on - so how were the ordinary people in the streets going to see me? Its just not the same waving through a window whilst sat with a load of other people. So I don't mind saying I was feeling a bit rankled before the day even got going. Things took a turn for the worse when the bus parade turned into what I can only describe as a sightseeing tour - I mean what on earth was happening? The bus tour was not for me to see Indialand - it was for Indialand to see me!

We visited a place called a mosk - which I wasn't too sure about. My feeling of slight unease took a turn south when the bloke at the gate asked me to wear a dress. I agreed to do so to ensure there wasn't a diplomatic incident but I confess Ronettes - it didn't feel right. One or two of the girls with us complained that they couldn't get into their dresses but the Very Old Man with us was kind enough to offer to get into their dresses for them if they were struggling.

We then went to a place called the Red Fort which I'd seen before. Its a fort that is red.



Word of my arrival soon spread round the city though and it wasn't long before I had a kind of mini retinue of locals following me round asking me to sign their postcards, sign their camera batteries and sign their trinkets.
And so the day progressed - we saw a few more sights, had a curry and then went out in the evening for a few tubes at a place called Pebbledash Street - don't even go there Ronnettes.

Evening was quite relaxed and I spent the time weighing up once again some of my opponents. What was I to make of them? Whilst I've mentioned that one or two of them looked a bit past it, a couple of them did look handy and if you ignored their hang dog looks you'd think I was in the company of other athletes. There were even some women with us which I thought would come in handy if my Green Flashes needed a whitening. Some of them were from a town called Ireland which is near Liverpool and I have to say I had some trouble understanding them - they had funny accents. It was quite humbling to see them in awe of me. I explained to them that the race we were about to do wasn't like their little runs they do with their jackets tied round their waists - they wouldn't be able to do that girly thingy running action - in short, I emphasised that they would be racing against real runners. But, you know, I am an old softy at heart and I could tell by the looks in their eyes that deep down they were just little girls a long, long way from their ironing boards and hoovers. I resolved there and then that I would help them. And that's how it was that I became the mentor to seven young Irish gals (well, they weren't all young actually, but lets not split ends).

Another lady there was called Joe and she was a good bloke and never failed to join me in a beer or two when the occasion demanded.

And then, of course, I had the Half Share there - so at the very least I'd have no problems getting my Lycra ironed.

Our day ended as it began then with a decent curry - and I went to bed eager with anticipation about the following day's flight to the north of the country - and back to those mountains that I was going to conquer once again.

Keep on tapering

Ron