Big day on Sunday

This Sunday sees one of the biggest events in our local racing calendar with the Hastings Half Marathon attracting some 4,500 competitors. As well as a big field of runners, this Sunday's seaside stroll will also see many thousands more lining the streets to cheer on one of their most endearing of local sporting heroes.

Me.

I've been inundated with media requests this week with the local press, radio and TV station asking for interviews plus numerous requests for personal appearances .....

Nope. Hold on. That's what should be happening. But it isn't and, between you and I, I'm not a happy bunny about the whole affair. And the fault lies fairly and squarely at the feet of my media adviser Max Clifford. Having appointed this so-called guru last month the chap, quite honestly, has been useless. No pictures in Hello Magazine - in fact, not even a photo in Farmers Chuffin' Weekly. Not even a 'three in a bed, drink and drugs shame of Olympic hero' type story in the News of the World. So, I'm not best pleased and I'll be firing a letter off to the guy and tell him his services are no longer required.

"If you want a job doing, do it yourself", my mate Buttocks always says. And how true that is. So, from now on, I'l be doing the media spadework myself - so just watch my profile soar when your man here gets to work! watch out Fleet Strasse, Ron's on the prowl!

Of course it's too late for this Sunday but hopefully things will pick up in good time for my summer assault on various championships and challenges.

I'm off for a session of anal crunches and groin thrusts down at Stallones, my local gym before getting the old fingers to work on the keyboards - I've got some serious letter writing to do. You see I've now narrowed down my list of commercial partners and I've published my Wish List of sponsors - this, of course, balances the No No list of companies which my conscience will not allow me to use. I'm starting with just six for now - but obviously, as my fame grows so will my list of partners.

Sponsorship proposals are being despatched pronto to the following:

Hollands Meat pies - Your kiddie here was brought up on this stuff. Comfort food maybe but it's just about the best food on earth. Rons fave? Meat and Potato.

Rola-Cola - Listen, who needs the multi-nationals? It's all syrup and water anyway - forget that rubbish about secret recipes and ignore the hype. Drink Rola Cola - you know it makes sense!

The World of Peas - if you're going to do justice to pies, you need quality peas. These chaps are the world's greatest experts on mushy peas.

Brooks Sports - makers of the banana coloured shoes and socks so beloved by your man here. I'm pretty hopeful of a sizeable wad of woolah and goodies from these chaps. But you know the best thing about these chaps? They're Sussex based. So I reckon they'll be a shoe-in to my commercial partnership team.

Sainsbury’s - as my mates Buttocks and Ernie always remind me, "one should have standards." The only quality Supermarket - apart from Waitrose but I've heard they're tight with their money.

Leffe - well, what did you expect?? All I need to do is to express a bit more love and desire of Belgium and I'm in.

That'll do for now!

Keep on tapering.

Ron