Ron snubbed by Prime Minister!!!

Yes - it makes shocking reading doesn't it?

As if it wasn't hard enough training to bring Olympic glory to this country, no less than our glorious leader has just kicked sand in this poor kiddie's face. And, you know, isn't it just a sad reflection of the priority given to sport in this country by the politicians?

It all started because, to be frank, I was coming up against a brick wall - time and time again. I don't ask for much you know - but I did think it fair to try and get myself the best training possible - and, frankly, to give me the best possible chance of success. I live, as you know, in one of this earth's coldest places - East Sussex. And whilst it's fine for these jessies who live in warm places like Kenya, Ethiopia and Bournemouth to train with the sun on their back - it doesn't help ruftie-tufties like your man here who has to train in all sorts of horrid weather. It's so damn cold here in Hill Towers that I had to throw an extra sheet on the bed last night.

So I worked out the answer.

Warm weather training.

But I don't yet have any lottery funding and I'm still working on sponsorship deals and lucrative merchandising arrangements - but these things take time you know. So I decided to take advantage of this country's democratic process and bring this failure to provide me with adequate training facilities to the attention of the Prime Minister. I used the e-petition process that has proved so successful in highlighting the issues of road pricing in the UK and called upon his Tonyness to pull a few strings to get me some training in the sun. Well I've now had a response from 10, Downing Street.

This is a transcript of the email I've just received:

Hi, (you can tell it’s from Tony can't you?)

I'm sorry to inform you that your petition has been rejected.

Your petition was classed as being in the following categories:

* Intended to be humorous, or has no point about government
policy

Your petition reads:

We the undersigned petition the Prime Minister to:

'Ensure funding is available to ensure Ron brings home the Gold for
Britain in 2012'

For goodness sake Britain, Ron is trying his best to bring home
the bacon for the nation in 2012. You can make that task a tad
easier by encouraging the Sports Minister to award funding to
enable Ron to undergo warm weather training. Two weeks in
Fuengirola in August would be perfect.

-- the ePetitions team

So there you have it - snubbed by the PM.

But let me tell you this Tone - if I'd intended it to be humorous I'd have stuck in a couple of chuffin' knock knock jokes! And it might be flippin' funny to you your Highness - but it ain't a barrel of laughs training in the cold, wet, barren wastes of East Sussex.

So, having been snubbed by his Numptieness, you'd think this kiddie wold have been put off. But not on your life matey! Put down - maybe; put out - certainly; but put off? No way.

I have a little plan up my sleeve ......

Keep on tapering


Ron