Phew!!

Running like the wind at the moment.

Great race in Amsterdam at the weekend when I did the half in 2.09 - my best for almost four years. More importantly it was just two minutes behind the Kenyan who won the marathon. And yes, we've had the argument before - I know he ran the marathon and I only did the half ... but whose fault is that eh? Nobody forced him.

But I will report back in due course but not for a couple of weeks because today I fly back to Indialand to see my good friends n the Empire. My Himalayan 100 Mile Stage Race is bound to be an epic and you can be sure I'll be telling you all about it when I'm back.

Keep on tapering.

Ron

This kiddie is smoking!!

Well, well it's been almost like a return to old times. And, as Bobby Davro would say, "What a week and a bit I've had"!

I have kept up my new Olympic Gold Medal Winning regime which I've found OK, though Ernie has been a bit lonely. I've not even been out in the Transit for a couple of tubes, choosing instead to stay at home and focus on winning races. No pies, no kebabs, no tubes. God isn't life chuffing boring??

But I suppose you get out of life what you put in and so it was with a keen interest that I dragged myself off to Caravan County last week to feature as an elite runner in the Faversham 10K. Well, Ronettes, all I can say is ... what a revelation I was.

I only went and pasted the rest of the high class field by recording my fastest 10K time since 2007. An hour and a minute precisely was my time and it brought back such happy memories seeing people coughing and spluttering in my wake and to hear and feel too the warmth of the crowd as they collectively gasped in amazement and wonder.

A truly marvellous athletic spectacle it must have been.

But there was more to come. After another week of living like a sodding monk - I hope I don't sound too resentful about my current enforced living regime? - it was another bash at the half marathon yesterday. We popped back to Caravan County for the Folkestone Half Marathon and my objective was to dip below 2 hours 20 minutes. Well the day dawned and we were subjected to some fierce winds and a biting cold morning. To be honest I didn't really fancy it but I couldn't let down the hundreds of people who had turned out to watch me so as I lined up with a load of ordinary people I decided to give it a bash. My strategy was to try and maintain 10 minute mile pace for as long as possible and then coast home - hopefully below that 2 hours 20 mark.

Well something must have clicked in this Olympic body of mine because after 6 miles my watch showed 59 minutes. After 8 miles, it showed 79 minutes; after 9 mile 99 minutes - you getting the picture Ronettes? Indeed after 12 miles, I was on 1 hour 59 minutes. There was a slight glitch at 12.5 miles when I came up against a ruddy big hill and I decided to have a little stroll, but I then sprunt for the line to finish in 2 hours 12 minutes 39 seconds. That was 7 minutes (or half a minute per mile) faster than my target; 15 minutes quicker than my last half two weeks ago and my fastest half marathon since February 2008.

Now if that doesn't seal my place in the Olympic squad God knows what will.

Mind you the effort involved was a tad too much for this finely toned body of mine and some three or four hours later I had something of a funny turn - the Half Share had to pour sugar in my mouth to stop me from slipping into some form of coma thing - but let me tell you the effort was worth it.

That leaves me with just a couple of targets left before leaving for Indialand next month.

This Sunday we're going to practice running up the Himalayas by doing the Lewes Downland 10 Mile race and then we're up in the midlands for missionary work and I'll be starring in the Mansfield 10K, where my target is to complete my first sub 1 hour 10K in yonks. The week afterwards we're in Amsterdam where I'll be gunning for a sub 2.10 Half Marathon and then two days later we fly off to Delhi.

So all in all I seem to be peaking at just the right time. Mentally I am focused as well and I've not even sent in a letter of complaint about being passed over for the England team at the Empire Games next week. Mind you, as soon as the selectors see the results from Folkestone yesterday there will be the smell of blood in the air in Delhi amongst the blazers.

Keep on tapering.

Ron

Orange, Orange and more Orange

So, off I went to Holland at the weekend. My motives were two-fold. First of all to resume my relentless but inevitable journey towards Olympic Gold in 2012; and secondly to do, if you like, a spot of missionary work amongst some of our poorer European allies.

Holland is very orange and as a nod of the cap towards the Dutch people I decided it would be appropriate to wear my new all-in-one Orange lycra running strip.

So, off we set with the Nice Work party - and a right motley, rum sodden bunch they turned out to be! Perfect company I thought. Before landing in Holland we visited somewhere called Netherland and I trekked for ages trying to find that Martin Jackson's ranch but gave up looking. I never liked his music anyway.

Amsterdam was bustling when we got there sometime late in the afternoon and I decided a couple of tubes of the local hooch was in order. Well, that was more or less it until I started feeling a touch peckish. There was a cafe next door to the bar so I popped in for a couple of cakes and a coffee ... well goodness knows what they put in their pastries but I can tell you that I felt like I'd got banjaxed by a steam hammer!

After I'd apologised to the policeman I decided to call it a day and get some shut eye. But do you know, waking up on Sunday morning I felt a familar stirring. And despite having decided to decline the offer of a celebrity place in their Half Marathon - I just felt that I'd be letting down Queen and Country. So, to mimic the words of Bobby Davro, I decided to "Give it a Go Barney".

And my, am I glad I did.

I decided to run in the 7.5K race. And as I lined up outside the Olympic Stadium I could feel the spirits of all those Ancient Italians who are immortalised in the Olympic movement. And you know I think they were trying to tell me something. I could feel a kind of Olympic aura emanating from these ancient Olympians through this Olympic Stadium built in 1928 and then through to yours truly - and as I looked up at the glorious blue sky my thoughts turned to 2012 and my place on that Olympic podium.

Inspired? You bet your middle dollar I was.

So, I decided to treat the locals to my famous anal crunch and pelvic squirt warm-up - but, dear reader, let me advise you of one thing. Never try this famous Ron routine in skin tight Orange lycra. Apology Number 2 required to the local constabulary.

My race was a masterful display of tactics, strategy and sheer animal speed. Once again, I scythed my way through an international field of elite athletes. I finished the race in 49.26 - which wasn't quite a BP but having pipped one Kenyan to the line, how delighted was I to discover that I'd only gone and done it arund an hour quicker than the Kenyan bloke who won the marathon?

OK, maybe he did run a bit further than I did - but, hey, whose fault was that? Nobody asked him to run all that way did they?

After receiving my medal and a quick peck from the Queen or somebody we retired to the bar to celebrate.

I have to say, Ronnettes, I was chuffed to bits to pull on the vest once again - after such a lengthy absence I realised just how much I'd missed the cut and thust of international competition.

That's my lot though for foreign travel for a little while. I'm due to vist Belgium again in March and I also have races planned in Paris, which is near Franec, Luxembourg, Norway, The Somme and India amongst other places next year. Before then I do have a couple of celebrity appearances to make. I realise I have some work to do to get my fitness back on track - and I need to work hard at raising the old profile again.

I'll be in Beckley on Sunday - and I've got my Summer round up to come too. But in the words of that bloke who does the weather on BBC2 - that's the lot for tonight.

Keep on tapering.

Ron

Wow! What a place that was

Just back from Amsterdam - and I certainly caused a storm there! Was it my new orange all-in-one lycra? Or was it my magnificent performance against the Kenyans?

I'll let you know shortly.

One thing is for sure though.

This kiddie is back!

Keep on tapering.

Ron