Wet weather training?

Now we all know that elite athletes need to dedicate their lives to training. No Gold Medals were ever won by ordinary people were they? Although, granted some women have been given them. No - it takes a superhuman effort to get on that Olympic podium.

And that's exactly what I thought when I woke up this morning to be greeted by the Sister of all storms. The rain was lashing down and the wind so strong it was blowing Irishmen across the Channel.

But I was cool. I was off to Deal to do a spot of missionary work in Caravan County and take part in their little Deal 5 race. Just as I was about to leave the house though I suddenly remembered the letter I'd received from Sir Sid Coe about my Olympic entry. Now you might think this was just an excuse for me to bottle out of running in the wind and rain. Well yah, boo, sucks. Just take a look at the letter from His Holiness - I've copied it in full below:

Dear Elite Athlete

With the English 2012 Olympic Games just 1000 days away, we need all you elite athletes to be in tip top condition.

We expect you to train hard - at least Tuesdays and Thursday nights if you can manage it, please - but we don't want you to overdo it. Remember you're representing England, the Queen, me and other leading people such as Simon Cowell when you pull on the vest.

We need you there in one piece in 2012 - so don't take any unnecessary risks please. In particular, you need to watch out if its raining hard and blowing a gale. You could slip on a leaf, trip over a puddle or even pull a hammy if you're not warmed up.

So, our advice is not to go out if its lashing.

Got that?

Yours

His Highness Sir Sid Coe

PS If any of you know of any potential sponsors for my good friend Ernie's van, give me a bell.


So there you have it! If Sid tells me to stay in, I have no option really. Thats why I didnt.

But whilst I focused on other important stuff like diet and getting sponsors, the Half Share started having a go about the beer cans and kebab boxes that me and Ernie had accidentally chucked in the hedge last night. The bottom line is that I shot out of the house before I got a size nine Timpson up my Davro.

And before I knew I'd done a three and a half mile drudge - arriving back an hour later looking like I'd gone ten rounds with Tommy Cooper.

And you thought the life of an Olympic Elite Gold Medal Athlete was cushty?

Hmmph.

Keep on tapering.

Ron

You have to go backwards to know what forwards feels like!

Well what an eventful week for this kiddie!

I started the week feeling a tad tender after my efforts in Dover last Sunday so I popped down to the local gym on Tuesday for a session of anal crunches and groin thrusts. The young fillies have some sort of shouting class on Tuesday evening and I often position myself close to their class to have a butchers. And I'm sure they appreciate me going through my extensive routine so close to them so they can watch me and, perhaps learn something. And, let's face it, some of them might be better off following the old Ron routine rather than wasting their time doing their silly dance things. They spend 45 minutes getting ready - designer kex, shoes, t-shirt and headband, tight little shorts – and then, of course, they have to tie their coat round their waist and then prance around for half an hour to old Bee Gees songs before sitting down for a thousand calories worth of Weight Watchers Puddings and Cakes. And the day one of them breaks sweat is the day I'll put the old leotard on myself too!

Anyway, the week has gone very much south for me since Tuesday. I've spent an agreeable - and eventful - couple of days in Brussels and I'd decided that after my gruelling training and dietary effort of the first few weeks of the year, this old kiddie deserved a break. So, I spent two days eating and drinking - and, well I carried on where I left off as soon as the old Eurostar hit Britain. So, my training for tomorrow's piddling 10K in Ashford has, to be honest, been non-existent. So my strategy is to treat tomorrow as a bit of an 'ease back into it' event. I should be able to complete the course in under 54 minutes - but twixt you and I this kiddie will be hammering away trying to get as close to 52 minutes as I can. But who knows? Maybe the excesses of the week will take their toll?

Then, after a decent spot of re-hydration with some members of my fan club in the afternoon and a decent kip in front of the footie I'll be ready to face the regime once again next week. I've a hard week of good behaviour - and on Tuesday I'm due to complete a 16 mile run as part of my marathon training. Then, on Sunday it's off to Livingstone's Pit and a stab at the Roding Valley Half Marathon in North London.

But whilst my week has been less than brilliant training-wise, I've had some news off the track. First of all my chum Seb Coe has endorsed my quest for Olympic Gold - and I'll stick a copy of his letter (personally signed, mind you) here for you to see. But whilst it's great that his Seb-ship has taken the trouble to personally acknowledge my journey to bring home the Olympic bacon, there is a sting in the tail of his letter.

He's not accepted my entry!

But this potentially devastating state of affairs ain't going to put this kiddie off! But you know I would have thought it would be in their interests to accept entries now - can you imagine the chaos there's going to be in 2012 if they're planning on accepting entries on the day? And surely the Olympic movement can't be that hard up it needs the extra £2 for on the day entries? Anyway, I'm grateful to him for at least endorsing my Olympic struggle.

I've also had a response from the Sports Minister regarding my offer to become an Olympic Ambassador for the country. Unfortunately it’s not from the man himself but from one of his numpties. However he does sign off by saying he looks forward to seeing me standing proudly on the podium! At last he knows where I’m headed.

So that's another supporter in high places in the bag and you can see his letter here shortly.

Still no response from my media adviser Max Clifford or from Sue Barker regarding my offer to take over from Ali McBeal on Question of Sport - but there’s time yet. I'm currently in the process of putting my sponsorship proposal together and drawing up a shortlist of potential Official Ron Partners - and I'm also studying the form book to check out a couple of potential media partner - but more news on this soon.

For now it's relax, put my feet up and an early start for Caravan County in the morning. I'll let you know how I get on.

Keep on tapering.

Ron

Sitting here. Poised. Like a coiled spring.

Well, the weather's been blowing Irishmen across the channel and as I sit here with a right old storm raging it's bringing home to me what it really takes to become an Olympic athlete.

Because, forget the 60 mph winds that are raging; forget the peeing rain; forget the biting cold - some of us kiddies are going to have to brave the lot of it. Today's a 7 mile training run and I'm sat here in my pumps and vest like a coiled spring waiting to venture out.

But no need to be too hasty eh?

The weather numpty on the radio says it should quieten down by 4 pm - so I've told the team to stand easy till half three and we'll revisit the situation then.

I'm feeling fit to run though and, even after a speedy 4 miler last night, the enthusiasm is still there. Only problem is the facial injury that I'm carrying at the moment. All a misunderstanding but it got a bit dodgy down at MFI last night. I'd gone there with the Half Share in the House who wanted to buy a new bed for our middle daughter The Droog. I thought there was another couple of years left in her cot to be honest, but the Half Share seems to think that just because she's 15 she should have something more up to date.

Anyway I'm stood in MFI and I couldn't find where the beds were. After a couple of enquiries went unanswered by the 28 year old YTS blobs these places seem to employ, a rather pretty filly approached me and said 'Do you want bedding?'. Well it just went downhill from there - she got upset, her boss and hubbie got involved and, well let's just say we won't be darkening MFI's doorstep again.

What else has happened? Well, I've finally got round to sorting out my entry and kit for the 2012 marathon.

You can view my letter to Lord Coe here and I'll let you know when I get a reply. http://www.nice-work.org.uk/blog/Letter to Lord Coe.doc.

Whilst I was in 'write' mode I also dropped a note to the UK Athletics bloke to sort out kit and training - have a neb here. http://www.nice-work.org.uk/blog/Letter to Dave Colllins.doc.

Finally - after some suggestions from a couple of Ronners I thought it only fair to offer my services to the Sports Minister. http://www.nice-work.org.uk/blog/Letter to Richard Caborn.doc.

I'll let you know when I get a reply and my kit arrives.

Keep on tapering.

Ron