Time to settle down now

I apologise for a couple of weeks silence but, for obvious reasons it was only fair that I kept my head down whilst there was an election in progress.

Us celebrities are not just roly models you know, we have a responsibility not to influence unduly the voting intentions of those who, perhaps (and I say this with a heavy heart) probably are not really in a position to know how to vote sensibly. It might be controversial to say it, but there is a school of thought that still casts doubt on our decision to give the vote to people like prisoners, those with mental disorders, women and students. But whatever the rights and wrongs of what my friend Nick Clogg says is a flawed voting system, we have to abide by the rules. So, that's why I decided to keep my head down and that's why you haven’t seen or heard from me for a couple of weeks. And likewise, you'll have noticed neither sight nor sound of the Krankies, Val Doonican, Moira Stewart or that bloke off the news.

As for the results of the election it all seems to have gone pear-shaped for Graham Brown and the fact that we now have a Bung Parliament is probably down to all those silly votes by those people referred to above - well I reckon they deserve what they got. Brown, to be honest, was never my cup of tea. He never once wrote to me with any form of congratulations or encouragement in my quest for Olympic immortality. And the only time I wrote to him to ask if I could buy some kind of gong for my services to the public he couldn’t even be bothered to reply.

So now we have a government that is full of public schoolboys - which should please our local MP Greg Barker who is himself well reared - though what he and his painter and decorator boyfriend get up to in their spare time is no business of ours. But I just hope that the present lot get their act together, grasp the moment, consider the opportunities - and get behind me (except that Barker chap, I don’t want him behind me.) The Half Share in the House did ask me whether the joining together of the Conservatory Party and the Glib Dems means they should now be called the Condem coalition - which I was pleased to hear because that's her first attempt at humour since 1998.

So what have I been doing apart from oiling the wheels of government?

Well the weekend before last Ernie and I and the Half Share met up with the eldest Cash Drainer and did a kind of Exhibition race in Burkeshire. The Shinfield 10K was a pleasant enough experience and I posted an impressive time of 1 hr 5 mins. Just slightly outside my preferred Olympic pace but I had been out on the lash the night before so it wasn’t a bad time on a hangover. On Sunday just gone I made the mistake of doing the Sevenoaks Seven. I had forgotten what an unpleasant place it was. Rough tracks, dog poo and deer poo all over the place, people in various states of undress and an overwhelming stench of sweat. And that was on the bally High Street!! The race is a bit of a dog’s dinner of a race for me - too many hills. But, when faced with adversity I always think to myself "Now, what would Bobby Davro do?"

Well that was an inspired piece of psychology - because I only went and got another BP - my best time over the distance of 1 hr 21 minutes 14 seconds - about a minute and a half better than last year.

This weekend I'm off on my foreign travels when I visit Luxembourg again for the Night Run. Those Luxembuggers certainly know how to put on a show and I was looking forward to running my second marathon in three weeks. However, Ernie reckons that with the time spent in the Nice Work van I'll not be in a fit state to do the full 26.2 - so I'll be looking to win the Half Marathon instead.

I'll let you know how I get on. In the meantime I've got a sad duty to do today. I'm at the funeral of an old mate who died recently. He died of dyslexia - choked on his own Vimto.

Keep on tapering.

Ron

Great news for Luxembourg!!

You know this kiddy can be a sentimental old thing.

I remember many years ago when my mother used to sit me on her knee and bounce me on my head. “Reg” she’d say (she wasn’t very good with names) “Reg, you should always be proud of what you achieve in life – and never be afraid to tell people so”.

So, that’s what I’ve been doing all week. That and sitting on the loo, lying on the bed and driving to the chemist for neurofen. Because, I tell you something, I don’t know how my ex-rival Gebrselassie is feeling this week – but there have been times when I’d wished I’d bottled it as well last week in London.

But I didn’t and I’ve been suffering all week. Nausea, pain, headache, stomach problems, cramps, hot sweats, cold flushes – you name it I’ve had it.

But I’m soldiering through and I must say I’ve enjoyed a week of rehydrating with some of my Ronettes in the hostelries of East Sussex. I love you all girls! (apart from that weighty one with spots from Kent, I don’t like her at all)

So, what have I been up to?

Well I’ve fired off letters to David Bedford, Race Director of the London Marathon asking for a guaranteed entry for next year’s race. I’ve got two chances of getting in. Number 1 because I beat the former Ethiopian ‘Nobody can stay with me’ Haille and number 2 if that doesn’t work I’ll try and get in on a ‘Good for Weight’ basis. I’ve also fired off letters to some of the media chappies to try and capitalise on my success last week – you know the kind of thing - four page pullout, photo sessions etc etc. I’ll get the old tecchy thing working soon and share that correspondence with you here. I’ve written to most of the national newspapers to tell them of my feelings about 2012 but I expect it’s a little too early for them to have Olympic specials yet.

But for Ron, life just goes on. So, I’ll be slipping on the old lycra again this weekend for a special public appearance at one of my local events, the Hastings 5 on Sunday morning.

Without trying to be patronising I think it’s good for the soul to attend these kind of events – and, I kind of like the ‘local hero returns home’ type media coverage that I’m bound to attract.

So far as long distances are concerned I have had many requests for information about my next crack at the 42 K mark and – well here’s some great news if you’re a Luxembourgianese. I’m going to have a crack at the full distance at your Night Run in your cute little country on May 19th. Now that really is great news for the residents of that Dunstable of Central Europe – and will really give you a reason to come out of your little cuckoo clock houses.

Before then I’m in Caravan County for the Hildenborough 10 on May 7th – and not forgetting a little trip to France to ram some more Olympic goodwill up the back end of those cheese eating surrender monkeys.

My, I am being caustic today aren’t I?

Anyway, that’s my lot – must get back to the old correspondence – life doesn’t stop after one London marathon you know.

I’ve got an Olympic Gold medal to win!!


Keep on tapering


Ron