Bad, bad Baddow.

A week is a long time in ... well its a long time isn't it?

And I really don't know where to start with my week.

I popped up to Great Baddow last Sunday to appear in their little 10 Mile event. I should have known when I woke up on Sunday and the sun was shining. It was very hot at 8 o'clock - so you have no idea how much hotter it had become by the start time of 11 o'clock!

Ronettes - I was flagging before I'd even started my anal crunch and pelvic squirt warm-up routine and by start time I was sweating more than an outed cabinet minister. As I set off, for the first time since I'd become an international athlete I knew that I was going to struggle. I had no energy. My renowned sprint start that has been known to leave Kenyans gasping in my wake wasn't there. Ronettes - I was barely recognisable as the Olympic idol you know and love. After 2 miles I had to take one of the most important decisions in my life. This, after all, is the chap that has done London, Paris, Amsterdam, Indialand and other places such as Reading. But ... Great Baddow had me beaten.

I dropped out of the race.

Let me just repeat that .... I dropped out of the race.

But as I trooped dejectedly back to the start, I thought to myself. Now what would Bobby Davro do in a situation like this? And you know what Ronettes? I don't know where I summoned the energy from but I made the decision that I wasn't going to be beaten by the course or the weather - I was bally well going to get round to the finish if it was the last thing I did.

At that point the rest of the field was long gone but I set off after them with some gusto - OK I lie - I set off after them with absolutely no gusto whatsoever. I couldn't wait till I crossed the line - which I did in over 2 hours.

Thank you Great Baddow.

Thanks a lot.

Keep on tapering

Ron

Great Scott - it's Great Baddow

More missionary work this morning.

I'm off to Essex to run in something called the Great Baddow 10.

I though Great Baddow was something you said when you dropped the sauce bottle on your foot - but we'll see.

Keep on tapering.

Ron

Beanz Meanz Timez

So, you want to know the secret of top-notch athletic performance?

Well, I’ve discovered it.

Beans.

Not just any old beans mind you – to be specific, Branston Baked Beans. Let me explain.

As the fog hung like a discarded duffle coat over Sussex early on Sunday morning, your man here swung his legs out of the pit. Between you and I it was a heck of a wrench to continue that process and actually get myself out of the bed. It was bleak, gloomy, cold, miserable – and, of course, it was Sunday. Ahead of me was a 120 mile journey to Essex for my first half marathon of 2007. The alternative was a lie-in, breakfast in front of Match of the Day and a morning with the Sunday newspapers.

No contest.

Because, to achieve sporting excellence you just have to accept that pain and sacrifice are part and parcel of life’s daily curriculum. So I jumped into the Allegro and set off for Great Bentley.

Of course an essential part of any athlete’s training regime is diet and you’ll know from our previous conversations that I place a significant emphasis on ensuring I have the right food and fuel inside me. You’ll also notice, however, that as my date with destiny and the 2012 Olympic Games draws ever closer, my diet has had to evolve accordingly.

Incidentally, whilst the Ginsters and Leffes may have disappeared – my yearning for them remains and it is truly a great sacrifice sometimes to ignore their temptations. (Actually the Ginsters fetish is only symbolic as any pastry connoisseur knows that there’s only pie manufacturer worth its place on the Lard Podium – and that, of course, is Holland’s.)

But the question of choosing the right pre-race fuel has been worrying me for a few weeks now. Obviously, I’m quite partial to a full English – particularly if I’ve had a couple of Leffes and a kebab the night before. But with my new found conversion to proper race preparation I’ve started experimenting with some weird concoctions.

I’ve tried Special K, Muesli and Shredded Wheat but all three to me have the consistency – and taste - of rotting vegetation. I’ve tried poached egg but I’ve always considered the poached egg as the hermaphrodite of the breakfast menu – its not really good, wholesome and filling in the way that a bacon sandwich is. And whenever I’ve eaten one I’ve just been left with an urge to eat a fried egg!

I also went through a fruit phase with a bowl of apple, banana, orange and grapes as an early morning appetiser. The problem there was that within seconds of emptying the bowl clean of fruit I knew I was seconds away from … well, filling the other bowl.

But I’ve had a kind of religious moment. And it all started on Sunday morning when, with just minutes to go before we needed to scrape the ice off the Allegro, we were still scratching around for some brekky. Things haven’t been too good on the old finance front of late and all we had in the cupboard was a tin of Branston Baked Beans and a couple of slices of bread.

And that was the start of a remarkable discovery.

Two slices of toast and a decent dollop of BBB’s later and we’re off to Great Bentley. Now, admittedly there is a downside of this particular pre-race meal especially when in a confined space with my other half. The Half Share in the House does have something of a reputation, with just one glance at a Brussels Sprout all that is required to bring on a rush of wind to rival the Sirocco.

So, arriving in Great Bentley must have been a sight for sore eyes – having had to keep the old car windows down meant the pair of us arrived looking as blue as a couple of Smurfs and it didn’t half take some warming up to get the old circulation going. A huge crowd of people had turned out for this first-time half marathon – and I reckon my appearance had added a good few hundred to the entry list too. A goodly crowd of pretty things in Great Bentley too – and I was faced with a queue of them who seemed keen to have their frontages signed by your man here. So, naturally I spent a happy few minutes obliging.

And then it was time to go. You’ll recall that my target time was a tad under 2 hours 5 minutes. Well those beans did the trick I can tell you. Because I only went and zipped round in a full ten minutes under my target time!

That’s right I finally achieved that important sub 2 hour half marathon that had eluded me for so long last year. Yup, I dashed over the tape, complete with my ceremonial Ron-dip for the line, in 1 hour 55.18.

And for that I have to thank those Branston Baked Beans!

So I’m going to use Sunday’s performance as a springboard for the future. I now need to build on that performance and consolidate this sub-2 hour benchmark before mounting an attack on the important next mark – a sub 1 hour 50 minutes half marathon. That should propel me into the world rankings and from there it should be downhill all the way. By this time next year I hope to be approaching the times set me by my Elite Athlete coaching staff.

I’m also now so convinced about the power of my Branston Baked Beans that I feel duty bound to write to the bloke who makes them and offer my services as an ambassador for his product. Now, can you see how I’m developing my select group of product partners?

So, I’ve a few letters to fire off this week as I sort both my media and product partners – plus, of course sorting out my training partners. In the meantime I’m knuckling down for a return to Caravan County this Sunday with a bash at the Dover Half Marathon. Its not an easy course though so a sub 2 hour performance here could be just that little bit too much – so I’ll play safe and aim for a 2-05 again.

But I’ll be back to you before the end of the week with an update of my progress.

Keep on tapering.


Ron

Time to step up a gear (1)

One of the downsides of being a top athlete is the threat of injury or accident. Set yourself a goal of athletic glory and there’s bound to be something – or somebody - waiting just down the Strasse ready to give you a bite on the bum. Indeed the curse of injury is something that has stalked this particular kiddie for some time now and I’ve suffered my fair share of missed opportunities, pain and suffering as I strive for Olympic perfection.

Fortunately I’ve been relatively lucky since beginning to tell you my story last autumn – but I have the feeling that my good fortune could be about to take a turn for the worse.

A worrying niggle on my left shin is starting to concern my medical back-up team (well, my mate Buttocks) and there is a chance that your man here might have to take a little break from competition to give the injury time to heal.

Not!

This kiddie ain’t nothing if not brave, fearless and ready to address whatever challenges fate chucks his way. You see, I know that pain and suffering are just two of the currencies I’m going to find jingling in my Olympic wallet – and I know a little pain now will bring that big Gold Medal gain in 2012.

So, all bets are still on and I’m busy with the mental preparations required for my next tough challenge – my first half marathon of 2007, tomorrow, in Essex. The biggest challenge is, of course, Essex itself. Not only is it a heck of a long way – but its chuffing close to that Bernard Matthews Turkey Bird Flu farm that’s been on the news today! News has just been confirmed that the turkeys have contracted the H5N1 virus. Which is not only a scary virus but also the first illness to be named after a National Insurance number.

Anyway, I’m sure that the people of Great Bentley will turn out in force tomorrow to see me mount an attack on my latest target. I enjoyed a light session down the gym last night and at my weigh-in I’ve seen a further reduction in my blobness – and I’m now almost half way to my target of shedding 28lbs before my first full marathon of the year in London, in April. I’m looking to shove a further 6 pounds south before the end of February and I’ll keep you up to date with my efforts to disappear pound by pound. I also opened the old lungs this morning with a nippy six mile training run – which left the Half Share gasping in my considerable wake and which was needed if for no other reason than to equalise the half pound of choccie I couldn’t resist last night! (That said, I have managed to keep off the old loopy juice with just a couple of glasses to help celebrate the Half Share’s birthday on Wednesday night.)

Time-wise, tomorrow, I’ve set myself a target of a tad over 2 hours and I’ll be chuffed if I’m anywhere under 2 hours 5 mins. That psychologically important sub-2 hour mark will probably remain part of my race preparations for later in the month – and I’ve provisionally chalked in the Dover Half Marathon in a couple of weeks time for an attack on the time – assuming I’m not crocked!

Now, I’ve already said that its time to step up a gear – but I’m not just talking about my performances on the road. The more I think about it, the more I’ve come to the conclusion that I need to step up a gear organisationally.

I’ve had great encouragement from my mate Dave (the head honcho at UK Athletics) – you can see his letter to me here http://www.nice-work.org.uk/blog/UK%20athletics.jpg.

Now, listening to his advice, I’ve decided to expand my team of advisers and I’ll be working hard to put in place the necessary building blocks that I reckon are needed to give me the best possible chance of Olympic glory.
And I’m starting with my media presence.

Basically, I think I need to work harder at my media persona so I’m putting together a team of people to help me achieve a much higher – and much more professional – profile. I’m not messing about either – so, I’ve decided to appoint that Max Clifford bloke to advise me. I’m also considering having a couple of media partners too – I know it might mean having to make room for a couple more stickers on my vest – but hey, ho have you seen Paula Radcliffe’s kit bag? I’m a little unsure of where to go in this respect but I thought I’d start with our own running bible Runners World and I’m also looking at one or two national newspapers to see if I can’t take a few bob of ‘em . This media lark though is all about opportunity – and I'll tell you something cocker - I’m one of the sharpest knives in the box when it comes to opportunity I can tell you. So, I’m also firing off a letter to take over from that Scottish bloke Ali McBeal on Question of Sport. Which as well as bringing me some much needed exposure will also relieve the British public from his incoherent drunken ramblings. Amazing display of judgement from the bloke though – he’s leaving to take a job working for the Scottish National football team – so at least his experience of losing will come in handy!

So, I’ll let you know how I get on with my media work – and once that is all sorted I’ll be turning my attention back to the world of sport as I try for my ultimate objective of the year – to try and secure myself some training partners as I focus on my 2012 training plans. I’ll be looking at some of the arrangements that the second greatest hope for Olympic marathon glory in 2012 has in place and try to persuade Miss Radcliffe’s management that I’m probably a better bet for them. At least I don’t run the risk of screwing up nine months of earnings for them every time I get ga-ga after a few Leffes!

Anyhow - that’s for later – in the meantime, I’ll let you know how Essex goes tomorrow.

You watch out for sneezing birdies now.

Keep on tapering.


Ron