Back with a vengeance

The training has been going very well if I may say so myself. I've upped my mileage, increased my work rate and started going down to Stallones for something other than an ogle at the ladies in Lycra (there's no hiding place wearing that stuff, you know).

I've also cut out the legendary Ron refuelling sessions and taking to eating this unusual foreign stuff for my lunch - I think they call it salad or something. Anyway the upshot is that I'm not carrying the kind of baggage I was the other week and as a consequence my running performances have improved dramatically. So much so that I'm bound to be a shoe in for the Empire Games.

My first challenge was to up my racing distance and the half marathon was next on the Ron list. Last Sunday I starred in the Kent Half Marathon held up in Caravan County in Margate. Now if you want to see at first hand the effects of a nuclear holocaust then Margate's the place for you. It makes Toxteth look like Mayfair. However, this kiddie wasn’t there for sightseeing - I was there to win.

My underlying objective was to get round the course with as little walking as possible and, Ronnettes, I managed just that. I had the occasional, teensy weensy walk but nothing too much and I reckon I ran well over 12 miles of the course. I finished in just over 2 hours 31 minutes - so I guess that put me in the top ten, so I can't grumble.

Next up this weekend just passed was a trip with the old soaks from Nice Work. I haven’t been away with them for a few months so it was good to catch up with some old friends. And my how old they were too!! But our destination for the weekend was a place called France. We set off on Saturday morning and ended up around lunchtime in a place called The Somme where there was a fight with the Germans once.

We had a very agreeable day on Saturday doing the old touristy bit. Of course it made a real change for me. France is a place I can go without being bothered and I'm virtually unrecognised by the majority of the Frogs. Well, so I thought, but I snuck off to a little bar for a tube or three and happened to pick one I'd been in last year and ... ahem .. well I kind of left without paying the bill. Anyway, that little domestic incident out of the way and I planned an early-ish no-kebab night.

Then I was dragged out for a nightcap.

Well I ask you. I spend all week living like a nunk, starving myself and refusing all tubes and bevs only to let it all go the night before a race. The upshot of it was that I lined up at the start of the Somme Half Marathon with the old nut bouncing like a steam hammer and a mouth as dry as a budgie's cage.

Away from the start - and what do I find? Yup. A Hill. Not just any old hill but a hill that went on for over a kilogram. Well I made it to the top of the hill without stopping ... and promptly brought up my breakfast. Ronnettes, when I tell you that things did not bode well for the next 12 and three quarter miles I am not exaggerating.

But then something happened. I set off on my way and a gentle downhill slope soon had me picking off the backmarkers and after about 3 kilograms I came across a very agreeable young gal who was pottering around and who seemed to want me to latch on to her.
So latch on I did.

In fact we stuck to each other like glue for the rest of the race. The course was hilly and needed some effort but do you know something Ronnettes? Through mutual respect for each other and because we both helped each other in our time of need we not only completed the race without stopping - a major, major achievement for yours truly - but I did it in 2.27.16. Now I know that sounds fast - I came about 7th I think - but it was five minutes quicker than Kent and, indeed, my quickest half for two years.

Impress mange tout?

So I came back from France full of confidence and full of beans - and not a little pride in my achievements.

What's next?

Well I went to Stallones on Monday for a loosener, got in the wrong queue and ended up in the swimming pool. Doesn’t wool get heavy when it’s wet? Last night I went out for a run with The Old People of Hastings and did an hour or so. This weekend we get shut of the Droog as she goes off to spend her inheritance on drugs and LPs at university. That leaves Sunday free so we're off to Caravan County again for a 10K in Faversham. Next up will be two further half marathons in Folkestone and Amsterdam before we make that rather special return journey to Indialand for the Himalaya 100 Mile race.

But more on that later.

Keep on tapering.

Ron

All quiet on the Western thing?

Oi Oi!

Long time no beep!

It might have gone quiet a bit - but that doesn't mean to say it's been ... err quiet.

August has been and gone but my what an eventful month for your popular Olympic hopeful. It was all going swimmingly well until a nip down to see the local quack Crippen threw a spoke in the wheelbarrow. Seems like all my health measurements have gone pear-shaped - well either that or Crippen was reading my notes upside down.

Now I know what you're thinking. How can a super fit Olympian like me have a blood sugar level of 28? Cholesterol levels higher than a Chavettes skirt - and a kidney and pancreas which are, apparently, on the verge of jacking in. Well you're not alone there and you could have knocked me down with a spoon when I got the news.

So, where to from here?

Well first thing was to try and get my blood sugar levels to below their then near-fatal level. I've had to spend the last three weeks popping pills till they came out of my ears; exercising like there's no tomorrow and laying off the rehydration fluid. So far it seems to be having the desired effect with a few kilometers of weight already shed - and those sugar levels down to a still scary - but more manageable - 17 (still a tad above the norm of 6!!)

Of course I got no help from the UK Athletics medical team who seem to have dropped me like a stone just as I come into form - but I'm wasting no time in worrying about them. What's good enough for Wayne Chambers is good enough for me.

One good thing that has come out of it is a dramatic increase in my training - I have races coming up in France, Holland and, of course, a return to see my mates in Indialand next month.

First of all though I had a go at running a 5 miler in Staplehurst. What should have been a straightforward flat run of an easy distance though turned into something of a nightmare. The old health stuff came up nippy-ish and stopped me in my tracks at 3 miles. I had feet of lead and couldn't move - and I was only able to struggle to the finish thanks to a kind marshal who gave me his drinks.

Things did start to get better though as the healthy regime kicked in and I managed to complete a very tough 5 miler the following Thursday in Holtye.

So, it was a time for a break. And I decided to head up a place called the North where I discovered somewhere called the Peak District. Peak District? Don't make me laugh. The only thing peaky were the faces of the poor beggars who have to live in this remote outpost. Rain? Rain? Don't even go there!

However the Half Share said it would do my soul good by living a week under canvas. Well that might sound funny to you but let me tell you after a week of hopping round a bally tent on one leg trying to get my trolleys on and off I was in no mood to enjoy it. We took the Sod with us just to make the tent even more cramped and him and his flippin' sleep walking made for a few entertaining nights.

Whilst we were there though we did get a few miles strong hill walking under our belts - intended to be training for Indialand. And between you, me and the drainpipe I did feel a lot better for it. I have kept the pounds off and lost a bit more and I've edged Ernie and his pub/kebab regime out of the picture. I decided to put my new found fitness to the test - and was suitable rewarded with two fine runs at the weekend.

On Friday evening I starred in the Newstead Abbey 3 Mile Dash in Nottingham. I targeted myself for a sub minute 30 minute dash and came in somewhat below that in 29.06. 48 hours later your favourite globe trotter was the elite runner in the Stratford-upon-Avon 10K. Here I hadn't really thought about times but, on a hilly-ish course, I had to get round the thing without either stopping or walking up the hills. A non-stop storming run achieved exactly that in a blistering time of 1.05.48 - I think I came about 4th.

I've kept up the straight and narrow stuff this week - well I have to with the beady eyes watching over me. This Sunday I have a big test with my first half marathon in yonks when I take part in the Kent Half Marathon. Next weekend I do the distance again in the Somme.

So, you see. You thought I'd gone off the boil.

Not on your nelly.

Keep on tapering.

Ron